Home » Prayer, Discernment, and Practice

Rummaging for God.

Written by: Liz Ivkovich

12 October 2009 2 Comments

Last night Fr. Dennis Hamm spoke to us about “rummaging for God” in our days. I like the word rummaging. I like rummage sales, I like looking for special deals, and I really like this new (to me) idea of the Ignatian style examen of conscience. He explained that the word for conscience in English doesn’t fully grasp the meaning of what conscience is- conscience being also consciousness, awareness, thoughts, events, and ideas, not just sins or feelings of guilt. I actually don’t really like doing examinations of conscience because I feel like I’m already living with the inner critic inside my head “That was stupid Elizabeth.” “REALLY?” “You just totally embarrassed yourself.” “What would JESUS do?” He (yes, the man in my head) says to me. I felt a little drop in my stomach when my Spiritual Director said “You should do an examen each night for twenty minutes.” That’ll be, uh, fun. But she went to explain what she meant, and this is what it looked like:
1) Ask for light : “Jesus, help me to see through the events of this day and know where you were with me, where I was with myself, and what I felt, experienced and saw that should stick with me.”

2) Look with gratitude at all the events of your day from beginning to end: Hmmm… woke up this morning, rode to the airport in Michigan. Got to spend time with my best friend Lara, ate the BEST QUIZNOS sandwich ever, finished Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, was in Minneapolis airport – I love that place! Home smelled like cookies and was so beautiful to me after three weeks on and off the road. I love snow on the streets and cold weather, riding my bike around. Home, thanks God for all the good and such a great home.

3) Find feelings that effected you throughout your day. Tired, hungry, back hurt, happy, sad to leave, happy to be home, safe. Very safe at the end of the day in my own bed.

4) Pray from one feeling. Thanks God for places of safety and rest. I want to find more safety throughout my work days, my vacations, my time with friends and family… I rest in that good feeling of being home and at peace and long for it more.

5) Pray for the events of the next day. Back to work after a hectic three weeks means e-mail. I hate e-mail Jesus, order my day, help me to pace myself, help me to retain a sense of being home and being safe throughout the day tomorrow.


Photo: “DSCF0262” by “pdgibson” from Flickr (Used under Creative Commons license)

 

 

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2 Comments »

  • Gramma Gin said:

    I really like this and have been looking for it all my life! I will be open to much more and will start my own search for Fr. Hamm & Ignatian practices…it makes so much sense! Thank you! …for being in my life! Love, Gramma

    # 13 October 2009 at 6:10 am
  • VitoOFMCap said:

    Just happened to land on this blog. As someone who’s still learning to use the Examen in my daily prayer and contemplation, I like what Fr. Dennis talked about.

    Peace,

    Vito Martinez, Capuchin

    # 24 October 2009 at 9:05 pm

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