Naming the God within
Written by: Lisa Kelly
With the new year, I am inspired by all the promotions for how to live life ‘better in ’09!’ They promise products and advice to make me thinner, richer, smarter, and happier. But I have yet to see the product or prescription for making me ‘holier’ or, in my definition, ‘wholier.’ What will it take for me to be truly holy, truly the person God created me to be, whole, living a life on the outside that is consistent with the life I feel called to on the inside? How do I change those labels and habits that plagued me in 2008 (and for years before) so, somehow, the gift of time that I have been given, 2009, will truly be spent for the greater Glory of God?
In good Ignatian fashion, I start with prayer. “Ok, Lord, how am I going to do this?” There is a reassurance that comes; More than just “with God all things are possible.” It is a reassurance that I know the Spirit of God is constantly at work within my life, that I am not alone in this desire for wholeness and that God desires that for me as well—this isn’t just wishful thinking; there is, somehow, the most powerful force on Earth, with me in this quest.
Rarely does real change happen overnight, yet no change will ever come without changing behaviors and processes, starting right now, in the present. Saying “I will be… (a better mother, a more attentive wife, a more forgiving co-worker, fill in the blank) somewhere down the road leaves me feeling guilty about myself now and focusing more on what I am not. And guilt is not a healthy motivator. My motivation needs to come from God, not from guilt, from the God within, from I AM. I am a patient mother. I am an attentive wife. I am a compassionate co-worker. These affirmations of both the God within and the identity I need to claim for myself fill me with consolation.
Will saying it make it so? Well, definitely not at first. In time however, the messages I give myself (particularly every night before bed and every morning when I start my day) recommitting myself to the identity to which I am called begin to penetrate into my character, my actions, my subconscious and my conscious decision-making until they become habitual and then natural.
I know I will never be the best I can be in any of my roles. Just as with my faith, there is always room for improvement and more to learn. But change and growth begin with seeing myself as God created me to be, as the Spirit of God empowers me to be. I Am…(finish the sentence for yourself.)
Photo: “New Year’s Resolution” by “lism” from Flickr (Used under Creative Commons license)
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