This Ignatian Life

What did he see when he read the temple scrolls? Did he wonder why the people begged for a king to rule their nation when God had told them that judges were all that they needed? Did he feel his own heart stir as God sent the people prophet after prophet, calling them back to the covenant and to intimacy with Him? Did he immediately and explicitly know how to respond to the questions of Job? Did he wonder at the Beauty of Bathsheba, or contemplate the splendor of Solomon? Were the strange, sometimes conflicting elements of the books of Wisdom a mystery to him? Did he recognize people in his own village in the accounts he read? Could he see his neighbors wandering in their own deserts, with hardening hearts, growing weak in spirit?

Was he drawn into deeper awareness that he was the Messiah? Was he living a conscious articulation of something he already and always knew, or was it a surprise? Did he struggle with that articulation? Was it hard for him to admit because he did not want to presume too much? Did he know it and try to hide it even as a child? Did he have to learn he needed to hide it? Was he born knowing how to do miracles? Did he make mistakes sometimes (how many tries before he healed the blind man who saw people like walking trees?)? Did he know the little girl would rise? Why did he weep at the tomb of Lazarus? Did know how to handle mobs, or did he have to think on his feet? When he met the woman about to be stoned, was he buying time by writing in the sand?

Did he have foreknowledge of all that was to come or was he an intuitive of unsurpassed ability? Did he know who would betray him from the start or did he learn it as time wore on? Did he feel sadness for his betrayer? Was his knowledge of Peter’s denial a hunch? Did he know how he was going to die? Did he think that there was a chance it could be avoided? Was he hoping for the end to come as he was being flogged? What did he think about as he carried his cross up the hill? Was he sad that his mother had to see him in that state? Did he pass out at any point? Was it hope that led him up that hill? Was it love?

If Jesus is like us in all things but sin, what did this mean for us? Did Christ think like you? Did he pray like you? Would he see the same things as you, if he were in your place now, staring out from behind your eyes? Was his awareness like yours when you feel the presence of God, when you are aware and certain? When he talked about being one with the Father, even if his awareness was complete and total, was awareness of God sufficient for him to not feel pain? Can anyone avoid suffering? Loss of love? Weeping? Joy? How human was he? How much a part of God are we? Where does God consciousness begin and regular consciousness end? Are we unrolling the scroll as we go just like he had to? Are we coming into awareness of God in our lives like a son, or daughter, of God?

Photo: “Andy at Sunset” by “Gary Simmons” from Flickr (Used under Creative Commons license)

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