The blog post you are about to read is a reflection on my notes from a talk that Larry Gillick, SJ gave to the IA formation group last night.

Desolation and consolation are almost like states of mind within us. In one state we are able to see all things are from God, we trust, there’s nowhere we can be that isn’t where we were meant to be (Beatles). We are more likely to see things in life as sacraments than disappointments. In the other, opposing state, we rely so much on the things of the world that when it is revealed to be material, flawed, imperfect we are angry. We are angry at the object, whether it is us or another person/situation/place and ultimately God. Fr Gillick said desolation is when we no longer believe there is hope.

Thich Naht Hanh says that we can’t communicate with others unless we first communicate with self. We can’t trust another unless we we know them and have quality time with them. Since so much of what we know and understand about God is based on our own filters, it seems like we should know ourselves best first and along with knowing God. Knowing ourself means knowing our inherent goodness and ability to do good things, protecting against the desire of the Evil Spirit for us to do nothing. It also means knowing our “unfreedoms”- those places in which we are most broken.

Fr Gillick once asked God “Why do I keep encountering myself and my own imperfections in prayer? Why can’t I encounter you and your perfections?” God answered, “Well, because I’m in the imperfections.” Praying from your unfreedoms is the only way to pray. Not praying to fix or change them, but praying from the place of awareness, and I (liz) would say a place of welcome for those unfreedoms. I’ve heard of different models; mindfulness, welcoming prayer, breath prayer, the examen. I think the Enneagram can give us a language to use when finding our unfreedoms. It can also can give a compassionate understanding for us when others share with us their unfreedoms.

“If you wish to come after me, you must deny your very selves, take up the instrument of your own death and begin to follow in my footsteps.”  (Jesus to the disciples in Mt 17:24)   When I read this I understand Jesus saying that to deny our very selves means not our most true, good self he created to know and love him, but the false self. Following in Jesus’ footsteps seems to be remaining faithful to our most true self; the image of God within our hearts. I imagine “the instrument that facilitates death” to our false self which we should take up would be the awareness of our unfreedoms and the humility to find and pray from the places of brokenness within us. To view our own brokennesses as the instrument that leads us to liberation brings me full circle to consolation again; the state of mind where we are more likely to view situations as sacraments than disappointments.

Related posts:

1. Painful Consolation
2. Rain and sun.
3. Simply Adaptable.