An Ignatian Christmas
Written by: Lisa Kelly
You would think with our years of spiritual direction, deep study of scripture and all things Ignatian, and our community of Ignatian Associates we would have developed some incredibly special Christmas experiences or traditions. But alas, our community actually struggled with what kind of Christmas celebration to have (Fun and games for community bonding? Fundraising for the poor? A potluck to keep it simple?) This prompted me to wonder what exactly would an Ignatian Christmas look like?
(Now if you want the abbreviated version of my answer you can skip the stuff in parenthesis, but if you want to share my walk on the Path, read on).
[In the midst of the busy-ness that is Christmas, I am blessed to make time to stop and examine what is going on inside of me as a result of what is going on outside of me. I go to my prayer room (that doubles as the guest room in the basement), huddle under a comforter, set my timer so I don’t need to watch the clock, and light a few candles and incense. Sit on the floor and breathe. Just breathe. Just be. There in that moment. Just be. Every time I do this I find myself amazed at the amount of “clutter” I have to push out of my brain just to get to that moment. Just to be there. Alone, but not really alone at all.
I start with gratitude. It comes naturally just given the relief from the clutter of my mind and it flows into gratitude for experiences of love in my daily life, experiences of the Absolute, of life greater than the daily grind. I look over my day, over how my heart moved that day, when did my gut recoil and why, when did my spirit soar and with whom? A review of the day tells me I’m not sleeping as much as I probably need in order to have an attentive heart and be fully present to my family. I find a growing fear in me of looking at my credit card bill as somehow we proclaim to live a “simple” life (an oxymoron in this culture I think.) I wallow a bit in moments that had me choking in laughter with a friend. I find moments I stepped up to the plate and did the right thing and moments I was too pissed off, apathetic, or self-focused to do the right thing. And I give thanks for opportunity to do the former and beg forgiveness for the missed opportunity in the latter and the wisdom and courage to grow from those experiences. I make a mental note to my heart of what each action did to my soul.
And then I sit with God for a minute and look at where I am today, what’s coming my way, where can I be used to do God’s will.
Today I knew I had to write this blog. Ugh!, another “to do” on my list and yet when I sit with it in prayer it becomes a gift, a true honor that someone out there would in any way benefit from my experiences and words. The sense in my soul comes: Speak of Me. Write of Me. Act of Me. Of course my all too human brain immediately reminds me of the words from Scripture: ‘Not I Lord’ (at least it was from the Bible this time—more often than not my brain just says, “You can’t. You’re not good enough. And you don’t have time.”) But Ignatius’ lead helps me to know what is of the evil spirit and what is of God.]
So God and I start to discuss Christmas. More specifically an Ignatian Christmas. What would it look like?
How much would Ignatian principles say is acceptable to spend on shopping? Is it a bad thing to be attached to traditions? Could I have a Christmas where I told my kids we gave it all to the poor and honestly feel good about it? Do I really have to give to everybody including the mail carrier and the paper delivery lady? And what of the nagging image of 2/3 of the world, that’s over 60% living off less in an entire year than I spend in the these two weeks? Is there a redeeming value to that fruit cake that nobody likes? Am I being my most loving self to save seats for my family only at Christmas Eve mass? (Don’t tell me you haven’t wondered that one yourself!) Time and again I find that following Ignatius’ path to God often leaves me in the tensions of daily life even on Christmas.
So I go back to the Principle and Foundation:
Make ourselves indifferent to all created things (fruit cake as well as everything on my wish list.)
Choose what is more conducive to the end for which I was created. In my case, what will make you a better mom? A better wife? Be present to them more than buy presents for them.
Rid yourself of those things that hinder you. Yes! The Christmas lights that remain in a heap in the corner of the garage waiting to be untangled are going back in the box!
But there has got to be more to it than that. I mean, how do I make Christmas day special? No answer. I hate it when God doesn’t answer.
So later in the day I asked a friend what an Ignatian Christmas would look like to him and he said, “Getting up, doing the examen or prayer or meditation, sharing of yourself with your family, going to mass to share with the community, spending your day in service to others, appreciating the world around you.” And my first thought in response was, “Well that’s what I do everyday. What’s so special about that?”
And I can almost feel God’s gentle smirk at me.
Exactly. Christmas is what you are called to do everyday. Incarnate love in my world. Recognize my presence and respond. I answered you 2000 years ago when I sent my Word.
So rather than find Ignatius leading me to some extra special understanding of Christmas to be experienced this year, I find myself almost hoping that it is nothing special at all. That it is a day just like every other day of my year.
I will go to my prayer room, light my candles, set my timer, do my Examen and contemplate the readings of the day. The nativity. I will put myself in the stable as an observer of the drama, the sounds, the smells, the tension or joy in the air. I can’t say exactly what will touch my soul. Every time I contemplate a passage something or someone different leaps out at me. And whatever it is, I will try to hold it with me and allow it to impact my attitude and actions as I go on with my day. Then the kids will yell “It’s Christmas morning!!” The hours of wrapping will be undone in minutes if not seconds. We will just hang out together.
And if I am living the life I am called to live, it will be nothing special. Just like every other day I will seek God’s love and God’s Grace. That’s an Ignatian Christmas to me.
Photo: “Embrace the moment (aka ‘Just breathe’)“by FredArmitage from Flickr (Used under Creative Commons license)
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